The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...
Well, here I am almost a full week after the husband has left for training to Camp Shelby. He will be there 2 months before heading to Iraq. I almost didn't post this info, but it's in the local paper. It's not like my loose lips will sink any ships there!
Anyhow, I had a major pity party on New Year's Eve when he was still home. He popped fireworks outside with the boys and their friend while I stayed in bed and moped. He finally came in the bedroom to keep me company. I think I was crying in his shirt when I heard that familiar "beep beep" of his wrist watch to let us know it was indeed 2010. I wasn't happy; this is going to be a tough year for me.
All through the months leading up to his deployment, I have had the idea that it should "hurry up and get here so it can get over with!" Man, I was dumb! I should have used my time more wisely. I mean, it's not like I will never see him again...but then again, anything can happen to anyone at anytime. I need to cherish my time with Mikey and my loved ones much more than I do. You never know when it's their time - or your time, for that matter.
This week started off great (said sarcastically) with Peanut waking up on Sunday morning to let me know his social studies project was due on Monday! Of course, the fact that he didn't have it finished was my fault because "he told me about it last week!" UM, I think I have a 6th grader for sale if anybody wants one...Sunday couldn't have been any worse, right? Oh no, add one of those headaches...you know, the one where it feels like someone is pushing your eyeballs out from the inside of your skull? Yeah, that kind. Somehow I made it through the day and today, Monday, has been exceptionally better, believe it or not!
I miss my husband sorely. It's funny how we take advantage of someone being right there all the time and not thinking anything of it, then when they aren't there...man, you miss them immensely. That's the case here! Peace of mind goes a long way when you don't have it. Plus, I don't have that companionship in my lonely times. Late at night, long weekends...those will be the worst for this year, I can see it now! My birthday weekend is coming up and both of the kids will be gone for Scouts camp outs. Is it totally lame that I planned my own birthday dinner - just so I won't be alone and bored? I mean, friends have told me they will "take me out for my birthday" and that's fine and I look forward to it, but I wanted to opportunity to get all of my friends and family together, not just the ones who will "go out" whatever that means (probably drinks and karaoke, I imagine.)
One awesome thing today is that I got the first file of stories to edit for "Dead Set!" My first editing job, wow! That will keep me very busy when I get bored, I imagine! I get to read over 65,000 words and make sure they are just right. How am I even qualified to do that, I wonder? We shall see! Hopefully Joe McKinney (my co-editor) will be better at this than I am; as a matter of fact, I KNOW he is better than me! Please don't let my loose words and punctuation on this blog be an example of my editing skills - I just relax and type what comes to mind here. I promise, I am better than this malarkey!
Christmas was great! The boys got all they wanted and more! Mikey got me a Sony Reader, which I LOVE way more than I thought I would. He also got me 2 tickets to see "The Wedding Singer" musical on stage in February. I am SO excited about that!
Now that I am just rambling, I shall stop. Please pray that this years ZOOMS by and that Mikey and all the other soldiers in his unit stay safe and come home to their families in one piece. We weren't so lucky last time - Mikey left some teeth in Iraq and probably some pieces of bone! Hmmmm.....maybe he can get those back this time. To quote him in the hospital after getting blown up by an IED, "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood." I have to love this man and his sense of humor about such serious issues. And his love of Dodgeball.